Melting Away Barriers to Finding Oneself

Once upon a time there was a young woman who was afraid to stand up for herself and challenge others to do the same. She was timid, afraid, full of self-doubt, lacked confidence, was awkward in her relationships with others no matter who they were; family members, friends, coworkers, even strangers.  She never let people see her true self or shared her desires, thoughts, feelings, or opinions. She was afraid of how they would respond to her and she would be overpowered by their remarks. Afraid that the shame she felt around not knowing what to say or do to defend herself would be exposed, she decided long ago that this was the best way to show up in her life.

For many years she walked this path, believing she was well and that nothing was wrong. This is how she lived in her family. She was the peace maker and made everyone else feel better, neglecting her own needs just to accommodate others. She was lost – unable to find real joy, unable to see herself, her talents, her beauty, and detached from her soul, her true essence.

Over the years of living this way, the one common theme that manifested was that she enjoyed helping people – it validated her existence. But one can only take this path for a certain time frame, especially when the giving wasn’t reciprocated or appreciated. Her love went out but was short coming in. It was like living in the snow and never experiencing a warm day, or hearing birds sing, or seeing flowers grow. Something was missing, something key to her spirit, which was having her voice.

Then she met someone who saw her kindness and welcomed it but grew concerned that she didn’t show her toughness, her ability to show up authentically in her life. This someone challenged her to speak her truths and to share her opinions. The young woman protested, sharing that she was happy with herself and that this someone needed to not be so concerned about her. This someone was persistent and continued to challenge the young woman. She saw how the woman denied herself and wanted to break down her barriers so that she could really see how she had been cut-off from herself and from leading a wholesome and self-fulfilling life. This someone wanted the young woman to she know mattered too.

Eventually, after many challenges, the young woman started to pay attention to what this person pointed out to her. She began to share more of herself, even if others didn’t inquire. She would offer her opinions, make corrections, challenge others, and tell them when she was hurt or disappointed. She even shared ways of how she wanted to be treated by the people in her life. She began to walk standing tall, showing up confidently to whatever challenge was before her. She would push herself, even through the extremely difficult and frightening times. She would make a point to practice whenever the opportunity presented itself.

She was beginning to feel the benefits of her work. She was feeling lighter and stronger within herself. Her mind expanded, her heart grew spacious, and her eyes began seeing what was true, not what was safe. She loved the freedom and the strength she had discovered and was eager to teach others to do the same.

The kindness and caring for others never faded as this was her true gift to those around her, but now she was present in her life. She could feel and see her work instead of being numb and disconnected, working from a place of fear.

The snow has melted and now she sees the greenery and the beautiful blossoms. Now she sees herself. She is awake from her past, her barriers are gone. She is walking a new path now. One that is truly her making. She believes that person who came into her life was an Angel sent by Creator. We all should be so lucky!

You too, can find your way out of the darkness and into the light. Make it your goal to go inward to set free your true essence.

Connect. Express. Soar.

Fear is like a vice grip!